Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Rethinking the idea of a wedding?

We recently found out that a couple of our friends secretly got married at the courthouse but didn't tell their friends for more then a couple of months. I was so excited for them when they finally broke the news, which they kept to themselves because they were planning to still have a small local wedding. When they looked at the price of throwing a wedding and the planning involved they decided to forgo the wedding and just announce that they had been Mr. and Mrs. for a little while.

Carrie and Mr. Big after their courthouse wedding

Now I know that for the majority of the readers of wedding blogs planning the wedding is the fun part, but when I heard our friends' news I stopped a minute and thought about what it would have been like to just get married without the whole wedding. The whole reason for the wedding is to proclaim our love for each other and start the rest of our lives together, but that can be done with cost of the marriage license and a justice of the peace. Why go through an engagement period (25 months for us) and spend a decent amount of money on one day?

For us, the number one reason for the full shindig (yep I just used the word shindig) is that we want to celebrate with all of our friends and family. We love them all so much but with everyone and their different lives all over the country (and out of country) we don't get to see them nearly as often as we would like. The wedding is a way to have all of the people we love and care about come together and experience the love that we feel for each other. Saying our vows in front of all of them means the world to Mr. E and I.

The beauty of a wedding is that it's different for everybody, but in the end we're all married (well for some that depends on state law, which is simply not fair) and that's what matters. I love that our friends got married at the courthouse because that is what they wanted, and I love that we're having a big wedding because that is what we want.

While planning did you ever rethink the whole wedding? Did any of your friends or family get married and keep it a secret for a little while?


Anonymous said...

I love the idea of a secert/surprise wedding! My dad had one : ) It was a shock to all of us. But was done in 15 min. then time for a small party. I think with older couples it is more common. But I didn't know about people doing it and then not telling people!!

Lauren said...

I've actually heard a couple of people that got legally married before their wedding, but many of those times their closest family/friends knew.

Eleven Cubed said...

My brother got married to his girlfriend and none of us knew for a year! He just didn't think it was a big deal. My grandmother wouldn't talk to him for a while though!!!

I have had those thoughts about just getting it over with, of course. We might actually legally get married before the ceremony like you mentioned.