Friday, November 6, 2009

Controversial wedding planning

On our local 106.1 Kidd Kraddick in the morning radio talk show this week (well local to us in Dallas, but is syndicated across the states, so maybe you heard it in your neck of the woods) they spoke with a bride who has set up a website called “” in hopes to get donations to hold the wedding of her dreams.

“I made this webpage because Jamie [the groom] has a lot of the financial responsibly. And he wants to marry me so bad but there is just no way financially for us it’s possible. We barley make it as it is and I just thought it would be nice if people could help me do this for him and I”
This is a topic that people could lean either way on, but for me, I’m leaning towards the “against it” side. This is only my opinion so feel free to come to your own conclusion.

Now don’t think I’m a mean spirited person, I am totally for (and normally watch and cry) at shows like Extreme Home Makeover and the short lived Wedding Day show that was on TNT.

These shows pick people who are very deserving of the help that they get. We’ll take one of the first episodes of Wedding Day for example. The bride and groom planned their wedding and then a couple of days before the wedding he was in a bad car accident and ended up in the hospital. They, of course, postponed the wedding and lost out on a lot of their deposits. Add in the costs of hospital bills, they just weren’t able to afford to put together another wedding. Their friends and family nominated them for the show, and even did the majority of the setting up for the wedding which was put on by the show and their sponsors. It was a heart warming moment.

Unlike that deserving couple, the girl who runs the website asking for donations for her dream wedding hasn’t really fallen on any harder times then everyone else in the current economy. I feel for her since she is in the middle of a lawsuit with a company for sexual harassment (according to the website) and that she can not find another job because of that. In all honesty I’m pretty sure that she could get a fast food or retail job while going through the lawsuit. It may not be a dream job, but it would put food on the table for herself and her daughter. Her fiancé lost his construction job, but took a job as a waiter to pay the bills, why couldn’t she?

She states on her website that “We want to get married more than anything in the world and I'm sure there are better things we can use the money on but the way we see it, bills will always come, it will always be hard.” To which I want to respond that “to get married” does not require a lot of money – go to the JOP and get married. There is a big financial difference between getting married and having a wedding. The wedding is just a big party to celebrate with your friends and family. If they want to get married so badly, there is nothing stopping them from legally getting married at the JOP. They could always do that, and save up money to throw a big party to celebrate at a later time.

I guess the reason that this irks me is because I know that money does not grow on trees. I am not one of those fortunate brides that have their parents pay for their entire wedding. I am extremely fortunate (and I thank my lucky stars) that my parents have offered to pay for half of the wedding, which is more then what other engaged couples can say who are paying for their wedding themselves. I plan on having my dream wedding, but it’s not going to come easy. First off we are having a 2 year, that’s right 2 year engagement so we can save up for the wedding and pay for it in cash. Does it bother me at times when people get engaged after me and get married before me? Just a little, but I know that I’m doing this for our wedding (although I know that Chris would be just fine with the JOP wedding LOL, he loves me and wants me to have my special day).

I know that we could have a small ceremony and just be married, but I want that dream wedding and I’m going to work my butt off to get it. I love my parents and Chris for all pitching in financially to make this dream wedding come true. Our dream wedding will happen because we all are going to work hard and save to do it, not because we asked for a hand out. I honestly think that we will appreciate the wedding day that much more since we know how much we had to go through to make it a reality.

You can read her story at “” and also see all of the “donations” she already appears to have for her wedding. I wish her luck, but will not be making any form of contribution.

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