Communication Is Key

Drama.

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I'm sure that everyone out there has dealt with drama in one way or another during their planning process (and if you haven't, be so thankful!).  Mr. E and I  have dealt with our fair share of drama - from the budget to unresponsive vendors to family issues.  While I would have rather had a blissful, drama free engagement (who wouldn't want that?), I will admit that dealing with this drama together has truly strengthened our relationship and solidified how important communication is.

When the reality of wedding costs sunk it, it was communication (and a financial savings plan) from Mr. E that allowed me to realize that we could pull it off with a little more time.  The lack of communication from that vendor provided many sleepless nights for me, but showed us that we were better off booking someone else.  Family issues blew out of proportion thanks to technology, but picking up the phone and having a real conversation proved to be the only way for each side to voice their feelings.

Communication has always been interesting for us because we are your typical extroverted/introverted couple.  I love to talk, and Mr. E is a man of little words.  I have witnessed him open up during our years together and it makes me extremely happy.  Sometimes I find my self watching him talk and I smile at how much of a better communicator he is now.

When reading The Five Love Languages we laughed at how on point the description of the Babbling Brook and Dead Sea personality types were for us. One of our greatest take aways from that book was the "Minimum Daily Requirement" exercise where we take the time everyday to talk about three things that happened to us and how we felt about them.

We're not perfect.  What couple is? We have our fights disagreements here and there, but being able to open up and talk through our issues is something that will prove to be a lasting benefit to our marriage.

Did you and your fiancée have to deal with drama during your engagement? What are some ways that helped you to work on your communication?

One of my last

As we start winding down this long engagement, I find myself thinking of things in the sense of being my last as a single lady.  My last Memorial Day, my last "fall" (because we all know that Texas doesn't really have a fall season), my last Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I recently had my last birthday!

I was so excited to go on a weekend getaway that Mr. E planned all on his own.  He asked me to give him a handful of destinations that I would like to go to and that was it.  He planned everything from there on out.  This was one of the homework assignments that we discussed during our premarital counseling with Rev. Kristie, and I am so happy that Mr. E took it so seriously.

What makes me even happier about this weekend getaway is that it keeps our birthday road trip streak alive!  Mr. E's birthday is 12 days before mine, and every year since we began dating we have taken road trips, alternating birthday weekends. 

2007- Mr. E's birthday spent in San Antonio

2008 - My birthday in New Orleans (we were evacuated 16 hours after we arrived due to hurricane Gustav)

2009 - Mr. E's birthday in Hot Spring, AR

I was worried that due to our saving for the wedding that we wouldn't be able to get away this year, but Mr. E took charge and planned a weekend away to take a break from wedding plans and just celebrate us!

We traveled to Fredericksburg, TX which is in the Hill Country and the home to several wineries and vineyards.

Mr. E booked a room at a lovely bed and breakfast and surprised me with champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and a couples massage.

We stomped grapes

Ate delicious food

Enjoyed a couple wine tastings

And came home with a bottle or two.

This weekend also gave us some time to tackle another part of our premarital counseling, reading The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

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We took turns reading the book out loud while driving and during some downtime in our room.  It was really eye opening for both of us, and I can't wait to find some more time (between Mr. E's busy fall school schedule and full time job) to finish off the remaining chapters.

Side note, how cute is this handmade birthday gift from BM Cali??  She made it as a necklace, but I'm going to put it on a keychain so I can have it with me everyday!

Did you do anything special for any last holidays or birthdays before you were married?

Movin' on up, to the East side

This weekend marks a year since Mr. E packed up and moved in with me, a month later we would move into our apartment.

All of our stuff packed up in my old 1 bedroom apartment

Mr. E putting together our new TV stand in our new apartment

While moving in before getting married isn't right for everyone, it was right for us. I feel that our relationship has grown being able to see each other in the day to day. I love knowing that he is the first thing I see in the morning (unless I'm on my side and see little Gypsy first, jumping up ready for a walk) and the last thing I see before I fall asleep. Moving in was also a financial bonus, because we are able to put additional savings into our wedding fund, rather then spending it on two different sets of rent and bills.

It has been reported that people that live together before marriage are more likely to divorce after marriage because they don't have the "newlywed" period of co-habitation. In my opinion (and I can only speak for myself and our relationship) living together before marriage is a great way to figure out all the little quirks about another person before making that life long commitment. Nobody is perfect, and there are going to be things that you do that will annoy your fiance and vice versa. The true test of a relationship is how you deal with those quirks together.

I love Mr. E for accepting my quirks, and I know he loves me for accepting his.

Will you move in with your fiance before getting engaged or married?

I wanna see my name in lights!

Well really, it's print, but close enough. A couple months ago I followed up on a post on the Knot to meet with a freelance writer and 5 other females to do an article on rings and engagements.

We met on a Saturday afternoon for high tea at a cute little French bistro and dished about our engagements, rings, and wedding plans all over tasty sandwiches, desserts and tea (it being Texas and the summer, I opted for iced tea over hot tea). When we were leaving the writer told us that we could expect a copy of the magazine in our mail.

After work today I couldn't wait to get the leash on Gypsy and head for the mailbox, and there it was!! The magazine is called Instore and is a magazine for jewelry store owners. Below are some pictures of the group, single shot of me and a depiction of the famous soup can that Mr. E proposed with (sorry for having to blur out the last name)

If you have been watching the latest season of Bridezilla, you'll recognize the girl on my left.

The infamous soup can rendition

What wedding related magazines have you read since (or before) you became engaged?

Are you ready for some football??

You may be wondering what does football have to do with our wedding planning? My answer is “not much at all”, but with the real seasons of college football and the NFL just around the corner I thought I would mention how in a way it does tie in with our planning.

First things first, I’m a huge football fan! It may have started when I was younger and would watch games with my dad. His group of friends would switch off who would host Monday Night Football watching parties, and I always loved when it was dad’s week. Mama Elephant would make some tasty treats for the guys, and I would sometimes sneak down to our landing and watch the game with them. Unlike your average couple, I can honestly say that I’m a bigger football fan than Mr. E. He played in middle school and high school but never really got into it. Thankfully he doesn’t mind that my fall weekends are filled with football, and he actually cheers for my favorite teams right along with me - the Texas A&M Aggies and the Philadelphia Eagles.

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When we were planning the colors of the wedding we knew that we wanted blue to be the main color. One accent color that came to mind was silver, but that was quickly nixed when I thought that people may think it’s a Dallas Cowboys themed wedding (whose colors are blue and silver). Although Mr. E’s older brother would have loved that, there’s no way those colors could show up together at the wedding for an original Philly fan. (For those of you that aren’t big football watchers, the Cowboys and the Eagles are big rivals). I’m glad that we are going with blue, green and an accent of yellow for the wedding!

 

Snippet & Ink Inspiration Board

 

As I mentioned earlier, my fall weekends are filled with football on the TV. Even if they are teams that I don’t really follow, I’ll still find myself watching. With the paper projects I have in mind, I think it will be a great time to get them done. I can just turn on a game and work on programs, escort cards or menus.  We'll probably set up an assembly line to put together the invites while watching football.  See, football weekends are a prime time to knock out some DIY projects! And even if I don’t have a project to work, I can sit on the couch and read Weddingbee while the game is on.

Even Gypsy is an Aggie Fan

Are you or your fiance a football fan?  Are you incorporating your favorite team or Alma mater into your wedding?

The Name Game

Recently I’ve seen the topic of name changing on a handful of wedding sites. I believe that it is a personal choice for a woman to either keep her name, take her husbands, or come up with a combination of the two names.

I personally don’t think that my last name is the sole factor of my identity. I know that I am who I am because of the way I was raised, and the lessons I have learned about myself over the past 27 years. I can’t thank my family and friends enough for helping to make me the person that I am today. I love my name, and the family history that comes with it, but I can’t wait to take Mr. E’s last name! I’m excited to start a family history with him and share that last name with our kids (down the road).

The Elephant gang in 2009 on formal night of our cruise

If I didn’t have a brother to “carry on” on the family name, I might have legally changed my middle name to my maiden name or give it to our future son as a middle name. My new last name will be less than half the letters of my current name which will make that signature even faster, haha. Unfortunately our kids won’t be able enjoy the beginning of the alphabet like I did, but the middle isn’t that bad right? My mom went from practically the very end of the alphabet to almost the beginning, and I’m sure she loved it when my brother & I were called at the beginning of graduations (allowing for an opportunity to sneak out early LOL).

Even with the hassle of changing my name on all legal documents as well as bank accounts and cards, I still look forward to the day when I become Mrs. Elephant new last name!

Will you be keeping your last name, changing to your husband's or combining the two?

Friends Forever

Anyone else a huge fan of Saved by the Bell? Remember that “Rockumentary” episode where they started a band that shot to stardom only to break up over the fame going to Zack’s head? Of course we have to have a happy ending, when the group gets back together and “sings” (yes I totally realize that was not their singing, or playing of musical instruments either) that Friends Forever song. Well we're lucky enough to have some amazing friends and can’t tell you how excited we are to have them stand up for us on the big day!

Chris and I didn’t want a huge wedding party (huge parties can get pretty expensive!), just our closest friends and family who mean the world to us standing up for us at the altar. Here’s a little breakdown of our wedding party:

Maid of honor –Kristen
Kristen and I first met during the summer before sophomore year of high school when we were paired together during the Adam's Course (a summer workout program for students). Kristen and I have been through a lot during our years of friendship including high school, prom, all things college at Texas A&M, studying abroad in Mexico and so much more. I love this girl to death and am so happy that she will be standing next to me when I say my vows to Chris.

Bridesmaid – Corinne
Corinne and I are what you call lifelong friends. Our parents met in Lamaze class when they were expecting our older brothers who were born 2 weeks apart. I have shared so many memories with Corinne from ballet and tap class to family vacations at the beach in North Carolina. Even after my family moved to Texas, our two families continued to vacation together, travel for each other's graduations from high school and college, and have always remained close. I love Corinne like a sister and always will.

Bridesmaid – Colby
Colby and I met when she transferred from California to Texas A&M and became the third member of 1257 Canyon Creek. We have wonderful memories of the last two years of college such as ring dance and trips to the lake house. As we grow older we enjoy weekend trips back and forth between Houston and Dallas as well as roomie reunions in San Diego. Colby is married to Chris who is one of Chris' groomsmen.

Bridesmaid – Lora
Lora and I met in college at Texas A&M through a co-ed business fraternity called Phi Beta Lambda. We had fun doing all types of activities from pledge retreats, to business trips to community service. Our friendship has grown since college after Lora moved to Dallas, allowing us to hang out more often. Lora is married to Brandon, who is another one of Chris' groomsmen.

Best Man – Daniel
Daniel is Chris' older brother and they have been through a lot together. Daniel and his girlfriend Stephanie have an incredibly cute daughter Danielle who will be 3 by the time our wedding comes around. Hopefully she’ll be able to handle the flower girl duties of looking cute and not crying.

Groomsman – Dennis
Dennis is my older brother and has been there for me since the beginning. Dennis is the "bestest" big brother and is always there talk and laugh about our life experiences. Dennis was the first one in my family to meet Chris and has welcomed him on our family vacations.

Groomsman – Chris
Chris and I met in college when he roomed with my friend Matt that I went to middle school and high school with. Chris is married to Colby, and they are wonderful friends of ours. Chris and I always enjoy spending weekends with them in Houston, attempting to wake board hehe.

Groomsman – Brandon
Brandon and I pledged PBL together at Texas A&M, and have been friends ever since. Brandon is married to my bridesmaid Lora, and they live in the Dallas area, hosting fun parties that Chris and I always look forward to. Chris and Brandon enjoy hanging out & playing video games.

We absolutely LOVE our wedding party, and are so thankful to have them in our lives!

Allow me to introduce myself

Hello!!

My name is Lauren and I am currently in the process of planning a wedding to the love of my life, Chris. I love talking about the wedding plans, but am not always sure that others are so excited to hear about them so I thought the best way to get it out would be to start a blog.

Now for a little background:

I was born and raised in a suburb outside of Philly (no not west Philadelphia like the fresh prince). My family (mom, dad and brother Dennis) moved to Texas in the mid 90s where I attended school and moved onto college. I loved my 4 years at Texas A&M and gained some amazing friends as well as a better understanding of who I am.

Fast forward a couple of years post graduation, and I find myself working in the DFW area enjoying my independence but missing out on that someone special. Tired of the bar scene, I decided to sign up with match.com (those Dr. Phil commercials really stuck) and see if their 6 month promise could live up to the hype. Lucky for me, it did when I found Chris. After a couple months of emailing back and forth we set up a time and place to meet, don't worry it was a very public place. Our first date was dinner at Chili's followed by a movie, and I knew there was something special there. Our 2nd date didn't exactly go according to plan (Chris overslept and was 3 hours late) but we still had a fun night and I enjoy joking about it to this day.

Chris and I were dating for nearly two years when he asked the big question! It was the best night of my life (so far)! I love him with all that I am and I can't wait for the day that he calls me his wife.